Get well soon Amy
I was sad to see Amy Winehouse in a bit of bother today again, its a tough road for her and with a father who appears to see her as a meal ticket she has her hands full.
As a recovering alcoholic (almost 10 years sober) I see a long and difficult road in front of her as long as she has these people at her beck and call.
I am so glad that tough love was used on me and I ended up in a bedsit with a bottle crying my eyes out most days wondering why the world had turned against me, not allowed to see my sons, not even able to provide for them and disowned by my parents the only way was up.
I wondered into an AA room was loved and cared for until I could do it for myself.
The early years were incredibly tough with not a lot of breaks but things improved albeit very slowly.
I remember the first time I was allowed to take my sons to town shopping on my own and the pain of handing them back that afternoon and heading back to my flat, my eyes water now even typing.
Things got better one day at a time and we are on vacation now in Spain and having a ball, even my 21yr old Son came with us.
I don’t know why I am writing like this, I suppose its out of gratitude and thanks to the man above for opening the gates of hell and letting me out.
Stick with it Amy you can do it.
A very heartfelt beautiful post pat, in a way it makes me see the likes of amy in a different light but can’t help but feel a sense of loathing for the woman. She has surrounded herself with the worst people and doing the worst drugs possible. The money and fame has just made the slope that bit more slippery.
Of course i hope she pulls through , but yesterdays amy is tomorrow’s britney. When it stops selling glossy magazines they’ll stop hunting the likes of these young wealthy train wrecks.
Well done Pat.
The rest of us only think we have problems. You have gone through more than most and come out smiling.
Hell of a testament to your character.
@ben
She doesn’t know, seriously I didn’t , thought I drank a bit and was a bit of a boyo but also thought the whole world was conspiring against me.
she just doesn’t know she has a problem and needs help
Pat, this post really moved me. I remember reaching out to you when I first stopped drinking, all the advice you gave me…which I promptly ignored.
I was lucky not to relapse, and not to have relapsed so far, but I don’t take it for granted that I can coast (even if I don’t make enough time for as many meetings as I should).
I think we need the occasional stark reminder of how sick we are, how bad it can get, and that we are the lucky ones. Awful as it sounds, Amy serves as a very blunt reminder of how far down we can go.
But as you often tell me, we have to earn everything we’ve been blessed with in sobriety. I have seen people go back out and drink after 20+ years of sobriety and it is hard to think one is invincible after seeing that.
Someone told me once: “Anything you put between yourself and your sobriety, you will lose.” Relationships, work, money, fun, whatever – I don’t need convincing. But I do need reminding. Thanks, mate.
WOW…….and Thnks for taking the time to pass on your feelings of gratidude and understanding while allowing others a forum and topic to quietly reflect on their own lives.
Wonderfull post, Pat. You’re and inspiration.
Wow. Pat, this post really opened you up. Huge congratulations for getting out of where you were…
Hope you have good health insurance for the next time I see you, cuz I might crack a rib or two with the hug I throw your way…
S.
Firstly Pat, a very emotional post for you to write. I seriously take my hat off to you for one opening up pubicly like that and two for acknowledging that something greater than yourself helped you through this. The difference I see with the likes of Amy Winehouse and all these “celebrities” is that you really wanted to get sober. You really wanted to have your life back, you really wanted to see your sons and you could not take any more. You were in hell and the only way is up after that. You reached out and there was someone there. That someone was people who had the same suffering as you, young, old, rich and poor but they all had one thing in common and had one common solution. BTW when I say you I include all other individuals who suffer from addictions and are willing to reach out and seek help. The problem I have with Amy and the Pete Dohertys of this world is that they for some strange reason think its slightly cool to do the crap they do. We continue to give them awards and buy their music. The day that stops and the cash runs out maybe then she and her like will walk into the same room you walked into and seek the help you did. She maybe then hand it all over and see where it takes her. My sympathy level for her is not that high at the minute. I actually have more for my poor Old English Sheepdog who is crippled from arthritis but tries desperately every day to get up.
As you know everybody reaches their rock bottom, a point where they cant take any more. That is different in all cases and maybe she has not reached it yet or maybe she never will and never realise that there was help out there but she could not see it, grasp it and more importantly ask for it.
I finish on this. Look at the impact that you have made on peoples lives with what you have achieved and written today.
Take it easy,
Nice One!
Tony
Lovely post Pat it great to see in this world of high tech, that at the heart of it are humans, with big hearts and humble thoughts. Enjoy the vacation you earned it, enjoy your sons because their yours Eoin
Well done sir, great post. You very much deserve the praise.
Just done 11 years sober, about to go on holiday with Partner and three daughters to Kos.
Some days are easy and some are hard dependent on the company.
Well done Pat, for that moving post. I too hope she finds her way into recovery from the dark place she’s in now. And well done to you too for keeping up your own journey. It’s never easy.
Best,
Debbie
Pat, you are one in a million but people can only be helped when they want to help themselves. My sister, who has MS (with a daughter who has Cerebral Palsy), who I may add is now separated from her alcoholic husband, is a recovering alcoholic herself. She only recently saw the errors of her ways when it really started to impact her children – no amount of warnings or love from her parents or brothers or sister did anything. We had no impact on her whatsoever. It didn’t matter how much her problem was pointed out to her. Although our love did make a difference – I don’t doubt that for a second.
I’m sorry but, Pete Doherty is a dick and doesn’t deserve any sympathy. I don’t care how many problems he has. He has been given way too many chances to get his shit together! It’s a case by case basis I guess.
I might not be a recovering alcoholic, but I can speak from a family member on the other side.
Keep it up Pat (and Jackie) – I don’t doubt for a second that it’s more difficult than the rest of us could imagine.
I’m not debating here, just saying that you need to draw the line under some people like Doherty.
Full credit to Pat for not p*ssing away more of his life than he already had done; but _more_ credit to those who loved him and who took him back.
Thank you Pat for your powerful post. It’s honesty such as this that really rocks worlds.
I only hope that Amy can find the love that you did and achieve the successes that you have worked so hard for.
Pat – thanks for sharing a very personal story. As we’ve not yet had the opportunity to meet in person I feel honoured that you have shared something of your personal life with us. Our past makes us who we are now doesn’t it?
Well done on the ‘almost 10 years sober’ – I am sure it can not have been easy.
Have a great vacation.
Tony, you reminded me of what I always hear in the rooms: Recovery is for those who want it, not for those who need it.
Nice post Pat and the comments too. You made us all stop for a bit and appreciate today.
Enoy the sun Amigo.
Pat. Much respect. I wish I had the strength to be as open about things that have caused me pain.
Have a great holiday.
Happy (almost) anniversary, Pat. I don’t know many people who have worked harder to earn that badge of honour, or done more with the opportunities its brought them.
You really are the best of the best.
Twitter: johnmryan
31st July, 2008 at 3:25 pm
You should be very proud of yourself Pat, you have alot of courage!